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Infidelity

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. Gary Busey What Do We Know About Infidelity? Some stats on infidelity: In the clinical population, 25-30% of couples come to therapy in the aftermath of an affair, and an additional 30% report during therapy that there has been an affair, so roughly 1 in 2 couples in your office will have had experiences with affairs… although (consistent with Gottman’s report) loss of intimacy was the larger reported problem for most couples,... more

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The History of Marital Therapy

from The history of couple therapy: A millennial review. Family Process, 41, 199-260. (2002). Gurman and Fraenkel point out that relational therapy (formerly marital or couples therapy) has been largely neglected as its own specialty, even though family therapists do almost twice as much work with couples as work with multigenerational families. Sometimes it is traditional therapy just focused on the adult romantic relationship, but sometimes it is parent-focused work within the context of a family.... more

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The Sound Marital House

John Gottman has been conducting marital therapy research for almost 30 years, and is a well-respected leader in the field. Based on this research and clinical testing of the theory, he and his wife Julie Schwartz-Gottman have developed a solid understanding of why some relationships last and why some do not, as well as an effective model for relationship therapy. The Gottmans have studied both the “masters and disasters” of marriage (as the absence of what makes for a good relationship... more

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Gender Issues in Couples Therapy

Introduction “Gender Issues” has been a difficult area for couples therapy. In 1988 the AAMFT required that accredited programs had to include gender issues in their curriculum. “Feminism” is initially what this meant, as women argued that traditional couples therapy maintained the sexist status quo, both by blaming women for violence and by maintaining therapeutic neutrality in the face of power differences in the couple. Even as late as 1997, studies of therapists still... more

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Issues for Same-Sex Couples

Gay and lesbian couples make up 1 million of the 11 million couples living together in the 2000 census. Studies indicate 40-60% of gay men and 45-80% of lesbians are coupled at any given time, and the Census data doesn’t count the couples not living together, so the number of gay and lesbian couples is likely higher. And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul... more

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Research in Family Therapy

I think of family therapy models as being on a continuum from “theory based” to “research based.” Of course, most models fall somewhere in between, rather than at the extremes, but the distinction is not that different than that seen in individual therapy, with psychodynamic falling more toward the theory based end, and cognitive behavioral falling more toward the research end. 10 factors in Family Therapy Research While it may be easy to look first to the “proven”... more

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Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples

Review of Susan Johnson and Leslie Greenberg’sApproach to Couples Therapy Notes from my Couples Therapy Class To hear you say my name, to see you search my eyes…To feel you touch my hand, it more than satisfies.If I was not the first, just say I’ll be the last. It’s too much to expect, but it’s not to much to ask. Now I can only dream of being all you need, And I can only try to be the reason why. You think about today, and forget about the past. It’s too much... more

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What’s the Difference Between Couples and Individual Therapy?

Basic Differences Between Couples and Individual Therapy Some look at couple and family therapy as primarily problem-focused (or tertiary prevention), while others see it as prevention-focused (primary or secondary prevention). Thus, working with parents to help them work collaboratively to gain control of teen acting-out behavior is a problem-focused intervention for that couple. However, it is a prevention-focused intervention for his/her 10 year old sibling, as we hope the parents will not... more

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The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially

The Case for MarriageWhy Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially by Linda J. Waite and Maggie GallagherReview by Richard Niolon This is an excellent source of information for the married couple on the benefits of marriage, and why it is not the same as “living together.” they provide a wealth of statistics, sound reasoning to explain them, and detailed readings into 100s of published studies to make sense of the impact of marriage. However, while the authors... more

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Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage – review of the marriage (in)equality arguments by Davina Kotulski, Ph.D.

Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage

Kotulski highlights that there are 1,049 federal rights awarded to straight people when they marry that are denied to gay and lesbian couples. Even if an individual State were to decide to support civil unions, and award gay and lesbian couples the 300 some odd rights many States award to straight married couples, there are still extra hoops gay and lesbian couples would have to jump through to get them, AND the couple would loose all these rights as soon as they left the State. Marriage Inequality Some... more