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Infidelity

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. Gary Busey What Do We Know About Infidelity? Some stats on infidelity: In the clinical population, 25-30% of couples come to therapy in the aftermath of an affair, and an additional 30% report during therapy that there has been an affair, so roughly 1 in 2 couples in your office will have had experiences with affairs… although (consistent with Gottman’s report) loss of intimacy was the larger reported problem for most couples,... more

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The History of Marital Therapy

from The history of couple therapy: A millennial review. Family Process, 41, 199-260. (2002). Gurman and Fraenkel point out that relational therapy (formerly marital or couples therapy) has been largely neglected as its own specialty, even though family therapists do almost twice as much work with couples as work with multigenerational families. Sometimes it is traditional therapy just focused on the adult romantic relationship, but sometimes it is parent-focused work within the context of a family.... more

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The Sound Marital House

John Gottman has been conducting marital therapy research for almost 30 years, and is a well-respected leader in the field. Based on this research and clinical testing of the theory, he and his wife Julie Schwartz-Gottman have developed a solid understanding of why some relationships last and why some do not, as well as an effective model for relationship therapy. The Gottmans have studied both the “masters and disasters” of marriage (as the absence of what makes for a good relationship... more

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Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples

Review of Susan Johnson and Leslie Greenberg’sApproach to Couples Therapy Notes from my Couples Therapy Class To hear you say my name, to see you search my eyes…To feel you touch my hand, it more than satisfies.If I was not the first, just say I’ll be the last. It’s too much to expect, but it’s not to much to ask. Now I can only dream of being all you need, And I can only try to be the reason why. You think about today, and forget about the past. It’s too much... more

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Dysfunctional Relationships

What is a dysfunctional relationship? A dysfunctional relationship is one where two people make an emotional “contract” and agree to meet each other’s needs in what end up being self-destructive ways: Example 1: I feel unable to take care of myself, you feel inadequate. If you take care of me, I’ll make you feel better about yourself. I’ll give up my independence, let you run my life, and remain loyal to you. In return, you meet all of my emotional and dependency... more

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Dating at the Office: Fine, Bad Idea, or Really Bad Idea

More and more you hear about coworkers dating. For some, it’s just hard to meet new people, and after-work-socializing functions provide an easy way to do that. For others, at an after-work-event for the first time they see a relaxed, funny, or witty side of a coworker that suddenly makes that person attractive. For others, they have very specific areas of interest or expertise in both their work and personal life, are so work settings allow them to meet people with these same areas of interest.... more