Gay/Lesbian Resources
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A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he
runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and
guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes in to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too." Now that Canadian Gay Marriages have been legalized, here are the new rules: 1) On the day of a gay wedding, it's bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym. 2) Superstition suggests that, for good luck, the couple should have: Something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty. 3) It's customary, at gay and lesbian nuptials, for the parents to have an open bar during the entire ceremony. 4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating any of the wedding cake because it's all carbs and sugar. 5) It's considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest. 6) During the first dance, it's considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or hand held lasers. 7) For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival. 8) the reception hall must have a disco ball and at least one go-go dancer. 9) the wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let's Hear It For the Boy, It's Raining Men or I Will Survive. 10) the father of the Bottom has to pay for everything! | |