| Couples on the Fault Line | |
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-- Peggy Papp, editor
This book features thirteen chapters by numerous authors on many modern
problems couples face. While it is primarily written for therapists, the book is not
steeped in theory or psychobabble, and includes numerous case examples that
most couples can identify with and feel some empathy for. There are some useful
questions for couples to reflect on (although more would have been nice), and
examples of how other couples reached compromise to resolve their conflicts.
Grade: "A" Reading! | |
The book starts with an introduction by Papp. In Chapter Two, Levner redefines the typical understanding we have of families
from a two-career couple (his work and her work) to a three-career couples (his
work, her work, and managing a family). He discusses gender roles, how men
and women view the transition to parenting and their own roles as fathers and
mothers, and some of how to address the time crunch couples feel.
Chapter Four addresses time issues directly discussing "Clock's, Calendars, and Couples." the short-term scheduling is often hard for couples, especially given that 50% of workers put in more than a 40 hour week, and about 20% work more than 50 hours. However, at least these scheduling issues are discussed; the long-term plans, "personal chronologies," and deadlines for dreams often go unsaid. When business travel, long-distance relationships, and caring for elderly family members is added in, time can seem to slow down or speed up in sometime predictable but often unpredictable ways for most families. Technology is discussed as well, both in terms of how it infringes on couples' time together (cell phones, answering machines, email, internet, pagers, faxes...), the extended work of working at home, as well as the phenomena of "online romances" and easily available pornography and their impact on the marriage. Infertility, donor eggs, later life pregnancies, and the ethics of genetics that couples must face are also discussed in several thoughtful chapters on the conceiving of children. Other issues such as depression and how it is different for men and women are discussed, as well as ethical and treatment issues in working with couples and domestic violence. Another chapter focuses on remarriage (which is 40% of all marriages, Papp points out) and the unique strengths and weaknesses such marriages entail. While even 10 years ago chapters on couples work with gay and with lesbian couples would have been surprising, Papp includes these and they are well done in discussing issues such as patriarchy and homophobia, as well as greater flexibility and focus on making the relationship successful in the context of family of origin and family of choice. Also included is a chapter on work with African American Couples, and the impact of racism both outside and inside the relationship, spirituality, and defining "family" and how extensive the word is. there is a chapter on older couples, as well as "mixed culture" couples and their unique challenges around issues such as religion, child rearing, and gender roles. | |